It's Just Natural

  My father had a saying he would repeatedly tell me as a teenager; “Men don’t let other men support them”. Dad had a way of explaining that if you want to be a “man” then you have to act the part. You don’t let other men take care of you, work for you, think for you, or even suffer the consequences of your actions. Sure, people need help from time to time, but that is not what he was addressing here.


  As a youth I had a hard time understanding what he meant. There were many kids at school that had cars bought for them, didn’t need after school jobs, and had all the material things that a teenager could dream of. Whenever I made my case as to why my father should pay my way for everything I wanted, he would retort with his quote. As most teen boys will inevitably feel, I wanted the world to see me as a “man” instead of a teenage kid. Now I am not saying that Dad didn’t provide for us. We had, what I now consider, a very comfortable, middle class way of life.

  When I reached the age of 18 years, I knew, somehow, that this would prove my father’s quote wrong, as I was now an “adult” according to law. You see, I still did not know that there was a HUGE difference in being a “legal” adult and being a man. I would flaunt the fact that I had new freedoms, in the eyes of the law to my father, and still, I did not get the respect and “status” with him that I thought I deserved. In his eyes, (and in reality), I hadn’t done anything to warrant being a man, i was still a kid. I was still suckling off of someone’s tit in the world. I had moved out of the house by this time, but still wasn’t very responsible and needed much help bailing myself out of the messes I created. But I quickly forgot those who helped me out of my jams and continued the cycle of needing help. Then, somewhere between getting married, having a son, working construction seven days a week for years, and trying to provide for my new family, it hit me. I was finally taking the steps needed to be a man. I had become a scaled down version of my father and other men in our country. I wasn’t a leach on the system, I didn’t ask for anyone to pull my wagon, I was proud of the things that I had accomplished for myself. Deep inside, it wasn’t really the material things that mattered to me. I truly looked up to my father. He was, and still is, a great man in my eyes. My eyes had been opened as to what was really bugging me. All these years I was actually WANTING to validate his quote and be a “man” in HIS EYES. I can honestly say that this was my driving force through most of my life. I know that deep inside, my father’s values are still controlling my decisions as an adult.

  I am now faced with the task of trying to relay to my THREE teenage children, these values that my father instilled in me. I tell them that I will gladly support them as long as they live here, but that by taking from my rewards and not going out to earn their own, they will still be “children”, with a child’s freedoms, in my eyes. If they want the respect that I give other men, and the freedoms that come with them, they will need to go out into the world and support themselves. It is the NATURAL WAY. It is unnatural for a lion to stay with his father’s pride, it is unnatural for a bear cub to trail his mother for life, and it is unnatural for a man to support another man.

  I wish Obama’s father would have sat him down and had this speech with him. Maybe then, he would see the wrong he is doing with his “redistribution” of wealth campaign. It is UNNATURAL!